Those Christmas-card-picture families are totally faking it

Have you heard the saying “Don’t judge your inside by somebody else’s outside?” It means that just because the person next to you seems like he is happy, that does not necessarily mean he is. Appearances can be deceiving. On the inside, he might feel as stressed out as you are.

I think of that bit of wisdom every time I look at Christmas cards.

Now don’t get me wrong, I adore Christmas cards. They make the whole season brighter. But sometimes they bring out my own insecurities.

In the first week of December I think: “People already have cards in the mail? I am so disorganized.”

By the second week I wonder: “Why doesn’t my family spend our afternoons at the park tossing autumnal leaves and strolling around dressed like the Old Navy family?”

As Christmas day approaches I feel cheap: “A private photographer, tri-fold cards, and postage … am I looking at a $500 Christmas card? Yikes! Our card looks chintzy by comparison.”

I can ogle a $500 Christmas card all I want, but it won’t make mine magically better. If I get one good candid of my family all year, I am lucky. “Is it Christmas-card-worthy?” I ask whatever poor stranger I convince to take our picture. Usually the answer is no, but I never let that deter me from throwing a Christmas card together online and postmarking it near the end of December.

This year though was different, and it’s all because of chimney stemming. If you don’t know what chimney stemming is, consider yourself lucky. My son can climb the three-story rope at gymnastics, scale the bathroom walls at school and chimney step — apply opposing pressure with his hands and feet to climb vertically — any hallway in the house, including the skylights. (No, he is not supposed to.) This summer he accidentally shattered our most recent family photograph while impersonating Spiderman.

Since that “recent” photo was from five years ago, I decided it was time for an update. That’s when the stress began. Not only did I need to find clothes for all four of us to wear that looked nice together without being “matchy,” I also had to find a color palette that would blend with the interior of our house so the portrait would not clash with the wall it was intended to hang upon. It was like the shopping Olympics.

At last we were ready for our photo shoot. I ironed dresses and button-down shirts. Scarfs were tied exactly so. I cleared our Saturday schedule to meet up with a photographer at the Park at Bothell Landing. And then it rained. And then it stormed. And then the whole afternoon was canceled. But three weeks later we finally got the perfect shot.

The portrait is beautiful and worth every penny, but don’t be fooled. On the outside, we are a happy family, casually exploring the outdoors. On the inside, we are totally faking perfection.

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Life

Sarah Jean Muncey-Gordon puts on some BITCHSTIX lip oil at Bandbox Beauty Supply on Tuesday, Jan. 9, 2024, in Langley, Washington. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
Bandbox Beauty was made for Whidbey Island locals, by an island local

Founder Sarah Muncey-Gordon said Langley is in a renaissance, and she’s proud to be a part of it.

A stroll on Rome's ancient Appian Way is a kind of time travel. (Cameron Hewitt)
Rick Steves on the Appian Way, Rome’s ancient superhighway

Twenty-nine highways fanned out from Rome, but this one was the first and remains the most legendary.

Byrds co-founder Roger McGuinn, seen here in 2013, will perform April 20 in Edmonds. (Associated Press)
Music, theater and more: What’s happening in Snohomish County

R0ck ‘n’ Roll Hall of Famer Roger McGuinn, frontman of The Byrds, plans a gig in Edmonds in April.

Mother giving in to the manipulation her daughter fake crying for candy
Can children be bribed into good behavior?

Only in the short term. What we want to do is promote good habits over the course of the child’s life.

Speech Bubble Puzzle and Discussion
When conflict flares, keep calm and stand your ground

Most adults don’t like dissension. They avoid it, try to get around it, under it, or over it.

The colorful Nyhavn neighborhood is the place to moor on a sunny day in Copenhagen. (Cameron Hewitt)
Rick Steves: Embrace hygge and save cash in Copenhagen

Where else would Hans Christian Andersen, a mermaid statue and lovingly decorated open-face sandwiches be the icons of a major capital?

Last Call is a festured artist at the 2024 DeMiero Jazz Festival: in Edmonds. (Photo provided by DeMiero Jazz Festival)
Music, theater and more: What’s happening in Snohomish County

Jazz ensemble Last Call is one of the featured artists at the DeMiero Jazz Festival on March 7-9 in Edmonds.

Kim Helleren
Local children’s author to read at Edmonds Bookshop

Kim Helleren will read from one of her books for kids at the next monthly Story Time at Edmonds Bookshop on March 29.

Chris Elliott
Lyft surprises traveler with a $150 cleaning charge

Jared Hakimi finds a $150 charge on his credit card after a Lyft ride. Is that allowed? And will the charge stick?

Inside Elle Marie Hair Studio in Smokey Point. (Provided by Acacia Delzer)
The best hair salon in Snohomish County

You voted, we tallied. Here are the results.

The 2024 Kia EV9 electric SUV has room for up to six or seven passengers, depending on seat configuration. (Photo provided by Kia)
Kia’s all-new EV9 electric SUV occupies rarified air

Roomy three-row electric SUVs priced below 60 grand are scarce.

2023 Toyota RAV4 Prime XSE Premium AWD (Photo provided by Toyota)
2023 Toyota RAV4 Prime XSE Premium AWD

The compact SUV electric vehicle offers customers the ultimate flexibility for getting around town in zero emission EV mode or road-tripping in hybrid mode with a range of 440 miles and 42 mile per gallon fuel economy.

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.