Have you heard the saying “Don’t judge your inside by somebody else’s outside?” It means that just because the person next to you seems like he is happy, that does not necessarily mean he is. Appearances can be deceiving. On the inside, he might feel as stressed out as you are.
I think of that bit of wisdom every time I look at Christmas cards.
Now don’t get me wrong, I adore Christmas cards. They make the whole season brighter. But sometimes they bring out my own insecurities.
In the first week of December I think: “People already have cards in the mail? I am so disorganized.”
By the second week I wonder: “Why doesn’t my family spend our afternoons at the park tossing autumnal leaves and strolling around dressed like the Old Navy family?”
As Christmas day approaches I feel cheap: “A private photographer, tri-fold cards, and postage … am I looking at a $500 Christmas card? Yikes! Our card looks chintzy by comparison.”
I can ogle a $500 Christmas card all I want, but it won’t make mine magically better. If I get one good candid of my family all year, I am lucky. “Is it Christmas-card-worthy?” I ask whatever poor stranger I convince to take our picture. Usually the answer is no, but I never let that deter me from throwing a Christmas card together online and postmarking it near the end of December.
This year though was different, and it’s all because of chimney stemming. If you don’t know what chimney stemming is, consider yourself lucky. My son can climb the three-story rope at gymnastics, scale the bathroom walls at school and chimney step — apply opposing pressure with his hands and feet to climb vertically — any hallway in the house, including the skylights. (No, he is not supposed to.) This summer he accidentally shattered our most recent family photograph while impersonating Spiderman.
Since that “recent” photo was from five years ago, I decided it was time for an update. That’s when the stress began. Not only did I need to find clothes for all four of us to wear that looked nice together without being “matchy,” I also had to find a color palette that would blend with the interior of our house so the portrait would not clash with the wall it was intended to hang upon. It was like the shopping Olympics.
At last we were ready for our photo shoot. I ironed dresses and button-down shirts. Scarfs were tied exactly so. I cleared our Saturday schedule to meet up with a photographer at the Park at Bothell Landing. And then it rained. And then it stormed. And then the whole afternoon was canceled. But three weeks later we finally got the perfect shot.
The portrait is beautiful and worth every penny, but don’t be fooled. On the outside, we are a happy family, casually exploring the outdoors. On the inside, we are totally faking perfection.
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