Something is knocking on the door. Oh, it’s February. Here for the annual visit. Which always manages to feel longer than a month, except for the year that the Seahawks won the Super Bowl. Let’s do our word association with the headlines.
“We laughed, we cried, we got angry: Re-watch last year’s Super Bowl ads”: Or watch them for the first time. Because it was definitely not the Super Bowl ads that made Seahawks fans weep last year.
“This rug is also an alarm clock”: So, it’s OK to beat it with a broom when the alarm goes off?
“State admits I-405 toll lanes have worsened north end traffic”: Well, admitting you have a problem is the first step … now the state can work on making amends.
“Amazon will be required to collect sales tax in yet another state”: Yet another state? Poor Amazon. Oh, what a burden it is to have to follow the law and collect sales tax like all brick and mortar retail stores do in states that require a sales tax. Like, you know, the state where Amazon is headquartered.
“Petition started to ban ‘unsportsmanlike’ Cam Newton from CenturyLink Field”: Someone sure is intent on maintaining Seattle’s reputation for being an overly sensitive, politically correct haven of … what’s a nice way to say “wimps” and/or “whiners.”
“Ancient humans ate cantaloupe-size eggs from 500-pound birds”: Wow, those must have made some giant omelets. But where can today’s Paleo dieters find some?
“Twitter parts with 4 key execs in latest sign of turmoil”: The turmoil must be related to the fact that people are realizing that an online messaging service can only make so much money in an economy infested with online companies all competing for the same advertising dollars?
“Apple isn’t as rich as you think it is”: Of course it is. What the headline doesn’t have room to say is that the company doesn’t have enough cash on hand to satisfy the many, many shareholders who demand that their Apple stock make them super rich right now. When did investing eschew the long view?
“Tacoma conservatory shows off chocolate-scented orchid”: And no one has tried to eat it yet?
“GOP bill in Olympia: No flying gay pride flag from state ferries”: Well, as long as they are dealing with the important stuff.
“Amazon delivery truck crashes into Seattle building”: The company is just trying to get customers, and non-customers, ready for the Amazon Drone Delivery System.
“Color-coded conversation: Octopuses aren’t completely anti-social after all”: Indeed. Otherwise they would be extinct.
Let’s close with a headline sent in by a reader named Terry and his wife’s immediate response:
“City officials back bill to test pot-delivery services”: So if you don’t get your delivery in 30 minutes, your pot is free?
Thank you for playing! (Everyone is welcome.) If we had a parting gift, it would be a broken rug-clock.
Have fun with words this week.
Carol MacPherson: 425-339-3472; cmacpherson@heraldnet.com.
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