Bessie, you’re fired

How do you milk an almond? Ben &Jerry’s, the makers of Chunky Monkey and other premium ice cream flavors, now is offering a nondairy frozen dessert made with vegan almond milk.

Ben &Jerry’s stuck with four of its traditional flavors, but did consider some new names, including Utterly Udderless, Hold the Holstein and Chubby and Lactose Intolerant Hubby.

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If I had a hammer: Home Depot said it plans to hire more than 80,000 workers nationwide as it gears up for the busy spring season. More than half of those may be kept on as permanent hires.

Home Depot has to move quickly, as those 80,000 have to be trained in camouflage and other techniques for avoiding customers with questions about where to find stuff.

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Where’s the popcorn button? Scientists in Germany working on nuclear fusion energy created plasma for a fraction of a second by injecting hydrogen into a doughnut-shaped device and zapping it with energy equivalent to 6,000 microwave ovens.

They then broke for lunch and in a fraction of a second made 6,000 bags of popcorn.

—

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