LAKE STEVENS — Michiko Smith holds steady eye contact and speaks earnestly, punctuating sentences with her big, bright smile. She’ll pause mid-conversation for a wave, high five or fist bump if someone passes by. After all, she figures, you never know how much a simple gesture might mean to somebody.
“You have to empower yourself to be a better person,” Michiko said. “You have to empower yourself to change the world. And if changing the world is changing one person’s world, then you’ve already done it.”
The 18-year-old, who goes by Michi, knows what it’s like to need a change. She’s fought an uphill battle to gain confidence and learn to love herself after being bullied because her family isn’t like most.
Michi’s father has been in prison since before she was born and is likely to spend the rest of his life there. He was convicted 36 years ago of first-degree murder and assault.
Michi shares her story with kids from fourth grade through high school and encourages them to overcome their own struggles. She’s a volunteer speaker through Big Brothers Big Sisters.
She’s being honored for her work at “We Day Seattle” on April 20. It’s part of a national series of events meant to encourage young people to change the world. About 15,000 people are expected to pack Seattle’s KeyArena.
We Day is part of the We Schools organization, which promotes service learning by providing lesson plans and calendars of possible service projects to teachers and club leaders. They work in the U.S., Canada and the U.K. and host 14 We Day celebrations throughout the year.
Teens earn their way into events by doing community service. There’s live music and celebrity speakers who talk about confidence, service and leadership. The Seattle guest list includes R&B singer Ciara, country group The Band Perry, Seahawks coach Pete Carroll, actor George Takei and Jordan Smith, last year’s winner of the televised singing competition “The Voice.”
Michi got involved in Big Brothers Big Sisters about four years ago when she was connected with mentor Kathy O’Brien-Grafe. They grew close hiking, bowling and talking over dinner. O’Brien-Grafe, 45, watched Michi overcome her insecurities.
“Michi is just a little bit of everything,” she said. “She’s a little spitfire, a comedian, she’s smarter than a whip. For her age, she just has a really good head on her shoulders.”
The teen has been a volunteer speaker for about two years, drawing from her experiences to remind other kids that they’re not alone. Everyone has struggles.
“What her story is about is slapping adversity in its face and telling it no, you’re going to overcome it,” Michi’s mom, Rosemary Smith, said.
Michi didn’t understand that her dad was in prison until she was about 11 years old.
“I realized it wasn’t normal to spend three-day weekends at a prison,” she said.
Michi, who is half Japanese, was one of the only students of color in her class. In elementary school, she remembers kids pulling at the skin near their eyes to make them look slanted. It was part of a rhyme that seemed harmless to them but was hurtful to Michi.
Her worst year was in 8th grade at Cavelero Mid High School, when someone she considered a friend said she should kill herself.
“All of my other friends stood by him, and that just tore me apart,” Michi said. “It was relentless. Online, in person, whatever.”
She called her mom from school, sobbing.
“But my mom still didn’t know how bad it was,” she said. “I mean, how do you tell your mom that?”
She moved in with family in Stanwood and went to Lincoln Hill High School for a year, where she made new friends. They stopped her from making fun of herself, a habit she’d picked up to make other people happy.
“Yeah, it made people laugh,” she said. “But it made all the wrong people laugh.”
She came back to Lake Stevens her sophomore year. Her experience at the high school is worlds apart from middle school, she said. She has good friends and supportive teachers.
She’s on track to graduate this spring, most of her associate’s degree done in Running Start. She has one more quarter at Everett Community College and hopes to transfer to Central Washington University. She’s thinking about becoming a teacher.
She and her dad write letters. They talk every few weeks on the phone and she visits him occasionally. They bicker and rib each other like any other father and daughter, Michi said.
“He’s a good dad for where he is and what he did. That’s not on me, and I had to learn that,” Michi said. “I think I might have a better connection with my father than most people do because we have to have the hard conversations.”
They’ve learned to be straightforward and make the most of the time they get on the phone.
“Twenty minutes to tell him about my whole month,” she said. “It’s hard to sum up your life in 20 minutes.”
Especially for Michi, who loves to talk. It’s the best way to find common ground, she said.
On a sunny morning, sitting on a bench in front of Lake Stevens High School and wearing her senior class sweatshirt, she told her story with confidence. A student nearby was listening and came over to introduce herself and say, “I want to be your friend.”
The unexpected kindness was a reminder that it’s OK to be yourself, that the people who matter most will appreciate it, Michi said.
“I can be Michi and that’s fine,” she said. “And anyone can plug their name in there. ‘I can be Rosemary and that’s fine.’ Right, Rosemary?”
Michi looked expectantly at her mother, seated next to her on the bench. Her mom smiled at her: “Right.”
Kari Bray: 425-339-3439; kbray@heraldnet.com.
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