Wouldn’t it be something to inject a little reality into some unreal governmental agencies? Let’s look at the surreal headlines:
“House would ban IRS from rehiring people fired for misconduct”: And so it has evolved: Congress must pass special laws in order to get governmental agencies to act like they understand that such crazy practices, like rehiring people fired for misconduct, simply wouldn’t happen in a private business. If the point of firing someone is to get rid of them, which is apparently not the case at the IRS.
But what else would we expect from the agency that in 2014 awarded bonuses to 1,100 who owe back taxes, and an additional 1,700 workers got bonuses even though they had been disciplined for some kind of misconduct within the previous year?
So Congress decided a law is needed to keep the IRS from rehiring employees who not only had been disciplined for some kind of misconduct, but received a bonus as well.
So here’s to all the private sector workers who have never received a bonus, and who have never been disciplined for misconduct …, and whose taxes have paid for bonuses for government workers who have been disciplined for misconduct, and possibly fired, and then rehired.
“Nagging kids about weight may backfire”: Just as it will with adults. … And it’s not just weight, but any subject matter delivered via the nag.
“Age you lose your virginity at may be linked to genes, study finds”: Or it may be more linked to your jeans, according to the researchers behind decades and decades of Calvin Klein ads.
“Cities have unique bacterial fingerprints”: Since Everett is still without a logo since a contest winner yielded a design that was deemed to too closely resemble an existing corporate logo, the city’s unique bacterial fingerprint would be a fine choice, more gritty and real than corporate. And at the microbiological level, it’s probably pretty.
“With first goal in the books, have the floodgates opened for Sounders rookie Jordan Morris?”: Must we burden our athletes, and politicians for that matter, as well as the economy, with unhelpful black-and-white expectations?
“For older CEOs, issue is knowing when to bow out”: Hmm. The same goes for a lot of coaches and athletes; rock stars and “shock jocks”; TV sitcoms and police procedurals; newspaper columnists and TV magazine commentators, etc.
“Rats! Several big U.S. cities seeing surge in rodent complaints”: Most of the rats’ complaints are the same as other city dwellers: They want better mass transit, safer neighborhoods and good schools for their kids, more upscale restaurant Dumpsters they can frequent, and a metro area with a more enticing, smellier unique bacterial fingerprint.
“Don’t forget your hand sanitizer” could be some city’s motto. Give yourself a bonus this week.
Carol MacPherson: 425-339-3472; cmacpherson@heraldnet.com.
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