He’ll have the Devil to pay

But how do you really feel, John? Former Speaker of the House John Boehner told a crowd at Stanford University that he’d vote for Donald Trump if he becomes the Republican presidential nominee but not for Sen. Ted Cruz, calling Cruz, “Lucifer in the flesh,” and saying he had “never worked with a more miserable (S.O.B.) in my life.”

Beelzebub, R-H.E.Double Toothpicks, immediately tweeted a denial that he is Ted Cruz. “I can prove it,” tweeted the Prince of Darkness, “I’m on Trump’s short list for veep.”

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Pirate talk radio: Their broadcast reach is limited, but that doesn’t mean the FCC is ignoring pirate radio stations, unlicensed low-power broadcasters who often block the signals of legitimate radio stations. The FCC is considering fines for those who advertise on pirate stations.

Sure, everyone should play by the rules, but if the FCC closes down pirate radio stations, where will we go for our sea chanteys, accordion music, beard-grooming tips and parrot care advice?

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Don’t know much about history: On this day in 1913, engineer Gideon Sundback of New Jersey received a U.S. patent for a “separable fastener,” which later became known as the zipper.

Ten years later — and this is true — the B.F. Goodrich company coined the term zipper, saving those of us with open flies from confused looks when told to X.Y.S.F.

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