When I was a little girl growing up in the 1980s, birthday parties were carbon copies of each other. The store-bought invitation arrived in the mail and you knew what to expect. Your mom would drop you off with the present, there would be some classic games like “Pin the Tail on the Donkey,” everyone would eat cake and ice cream and then the birthday child would open presents. If you were lucky, there would be a piñata.
Occasionally, birthday parties branched out to predictable locations like Chuck E. Cheese’s or the local roller skating rink. By the time I was in third grade, slumber parties were also popular. Dropping 8-year-olds off for an overnight wasn’t a big deal.
Oh, how times have changed.
My daughter’s sixth birthday was full of bunny-love, bunny-poop and a whole lot of fluff. Twenty bunnies descended upon my backyard from “Bunnies for Birthdays,” a local company that provides special party experiences.
For my son’s recent 11th birthday, we went to Elevated Sportz, an indoor gym packed with trampolines, a dodge ball court and a laser maze. I was thrilled to observe all of that fifth-grade-boy energy somewhere other than my living room.
To grandparents, these party experiences might seem extreme, when in fact, they are the new norm. Traditional at-home birthdays are popular too, but they can be equally expensive.
Why are birthday parties in 2016 so different than they were in 1986?
Nowadays many parents stay for the entire birthday party instead of dropping their children off. This means party hosts need to plan food for kids and parents, which doubles the food budget. Plus, knowing that other mothers will be silently judging food offerings is intimidating. A bowl of potato chips isn’t Pinterest-worthy, and you better make sure vegetables are available, even if they go untouched.
Gifts present a major challenge, too. Will the birthday boy open them at the party or wait until everyone has left? Kids in the 1980s were expected to suck it up and not be jealous of their friend’s good fortune.
But today, the emotional discomfort of young guests is obsessed over. It wasn’t until first grade that my children attended parties where gifts were consistently opened.
Then there are goody bags. I don’t know one mother who actually likes goody bags — either creating them, or having her child bring one home and scatter the contents across the house. Yet for some reason, goody bags are ubiquitous, in all their plastic-crap-from-China glory.
Slumber parties seem like they should be immune from shifts in cultural norms, but they aren’t safe. “Safe” is the key word there. Lots of parents today won’t let their children stay overnight and cite safety as their main reason.
Maybe it would be easier for everyone if we scrapped birthday parties altogether. We could send cupcakes to school and call it good.
Ha! I was just messing with you. In my neighborhood, schools banned birthday cupcakes a while ago.
Come meet Jennifer Bardsley at Edmonds Bookshop on Thursday, June 16 at 7 p.m. where she will be signing copies of her Young Adult book, “Genesis Girl.”
Talk to us
> Give us your news tips.
> Send us a letter to the editor.
> More Herald contact information.
