Mom’s looking for back pay for her labor

LOS ANGELES — You’re always telling your mother you owe her. Now, the American Coalition for Labor Reparations has a worksheet you can use to calculate exactly how much back pay Mom deserves.

Here’s the logic: “Every laborer deserves a wage. Your mother went into labor for you and has never been repaid.”

We should mention that the coalition doesn’t exist for most of the year — it’s a gag dreamed up by ad agency Mother New York. There’s even a faux PSA video featuring a crew of mothers — some describing pretty graphic scenarios.

In a way, the reparations form they’ve created makes a sick sort of sense.

First, you enter your birth year and the number of hours your mother struggled in labor. C-section births get a flat rate. That’s the base fee.

Then, children enter other charges and deductions, including the number of drinks Mom couldn’t enjoy during nine months of sobriety. More punctual births owe less; offspring who call on Mother’s Day get to deduct 80 percent of their charges.

Corporations are doing their part to ease mothers’ financial burdens. Hooters, a so-called “breastaurant”chain whose family-friendliness is questionable, is giving mothers 10 free boneless wings on Sunday.

Ikea cafeterias will serve mothers a free breakfast of scrambled eggs, bacon, potatoes and coffee. Not that it’s normally an expensive meal — non-moms can get it for $1.74. Mothers dining at McCormick &Schmicks will get complimentary truffles; they’ll get a free “Simply Fresh” cookbook at Ruby Tuesday and a frozen yogurt gratis at TCBY.

———

(c)2012 the Los Angeles Times

Visit the Los Angeles Times at www.latimes.com

Distributed by MCT Information Services

What you owe

Find out how much you owe your mother, and watch a video of moms demanding reparations at the American Coalition for Labor Reparations at acflr.org/.

More in Herald Business Journal

Voters are on the sidelines as the port fills a vacant seat

Troy McClelland resigned from the Port of Everett commission too late for an election before 2019.

In space capsules today, little room but big improvement

Boeing and SpaceX are relying on a tried-and-true design as they each develop new spacecraft.

First Boeing KC-46 delivery to Air Force slides into 2018

Certification milestones have been missed, and problems have emerged in flight test, a source says.

Newest must-try eatery: 85°C Bakery Cafe in Lynnwood

The popular bakery, part of a Taiwan-based chain, is already drawing out-the-door crowds.

Snohomish County tax liens

Tax liens are gathered from online public records filed with the Snohomish… Continue reading

Trudeau: Canada could stop dealing with Boeing over dispute

Boeing had petitioned the U.S. to investigate government subsidies of Bombardier’s CSeries aircraft.

Toys ‘R’ Us files for bankruptcy but keeps stores open

Retailers of all kinds are struggling. Toys ‘R’ Us is among at least 18 other bankruptcies this year.

Marysville-Arlington fiber-optic link planned by Comcast

The high-speed internet line, to be ready next year, is seen as a boost for business development.

‘Cheese that was grass 24 hours ago’ wins a farm accolades

Ferndale Farmstead specializes in authentic Italian cheeses — made with with American milk.

Most Read