By Ian McCabe
Special to The Herald
According to a National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP report, nearly a quarter of households in the United States include someone who is a caregiver for a person 50 or older. Almost 85 percent of those caregivers are family members volunteering within their own homes to care for loved ones with disabilities or chronic conditions, such as dementia.
For many, caregiving is an all-consuming role that requires them to either supervise or directly meet the needs of their loved ones. Caregivers often do this without recognition, assistance or time for themselves. This causes not only stress and financial hardship, but also depression, isolation and exhaustion, according to the Caregiving in the U.S. report
But help is available. Homage Senior Services offers programs to support caregivers within Snohomish County, including educational workshops and seminars, support groups, care management consultations and caregiver-focused events, as well as referrals for respite care and other services.
“It’s a lot of work, both emotionally and physically, especially for older caregivers,” said Ruth Egger, a family caregiver specialist at Homage.
Caregivers may be constantly afraid their loved ones are going to fall or wander away, for instance. “There’s always a sense of worry and never a chance to relax,” Egger said. “They need relief, so that’s where we come in.”
For example, Homage can provide in-home care for up to five hours per week, safety aids and accessories like a grab bar for a bathroom, house cleaning and massage services so that caregivers can take a much-needed break. Some of these services are free or discounted for unpaid caregivers.
John Stanford, 75, of Everett, knows exactly what caregivers go through. For years, he was the primary caregiver for his wife, Karen, who is living with frontotemporal dementia.
Stanford now volunteers through Homage as a Senior Companion to fellow seniors who still live at home but who need help on occasion.
“I’m glad I’ve had the opportunity to befriend them, to share our experiences, talk together, eat together and even play bingo together,” Stanford said. “It’s about sharing experiences, that’s what this program is. I feel good that I can contribute to their lives. (All they have to do) is just pick up the phone, no matter what time it is.”
One of his companions is 101-year-old Sebastian Taralli, of Everett. But perhaps the person who benefits most from his volunteer time is Sebastian’s wife and family caregiver, Frances.
“When you tell somebody what you’re going through, nobody really understands unless they go through it themselves,” said Frances Taralli, 77.
“You’re doing the role of two people, and it can stress you out. So, to have John to talk to is wonderful. Being the same age, we have a lot in common, so we share stories about growing up. Most importantly, he’s been a great friend and support for us.”
For the Tarallis, Homage provided an emergency-alert necklace with a call button, which allows husband and wife to communicate with each other when they are apart.
“I’ll wear it if I’m going to the store, or he’ll wear it if goes out for a walk down the street,” Frances Taralli said. “I can stay in the house by myself, and if he falls and I can’t see him, he just presses the button and lets me know.”
While Homage provides invaluable relief for caregivers, Egger says that more needs to be done. Case in point is what happened with Stanford and his wife.
When caring for his wife became too difficult for Stanford on his own, he had no option but to place her in an adult family home at his own expense.
“It’s a big problem in this country, not to be able to support unpaid caregivers who are really saving the country a lot of money,” Egger said. “If we had more support that we could have offered John in the home, he may have been able to keep his wife there with him.”
Egger said it’s incredible what those like Stanford and Taralli do for their loved ones.
“People keep saying to me, ‘You’re doing an amazing job,’ and I wonder why they say that,” Frances Taralli said. “But then I think about it, and I must be doing something right because he’s gotten to 101. It kind of makes you feel good. A lot of that is thanks to Homage.”
Here are some of the support services available through Homage:
Caregiver support. The Family Caregiver Support Program helps caregivers care for loved ones while meeting their own needs — be they mental, physical or emotional. A specialist works with you to find community resources to support you in your caregiving role. Call 425-290-1240 or email caregiver@homage.org for information.
Need a break? The Lifespan Respite Program offers vouchers for unpaid caregivers to take a break from the demands of caregiving. If you provide 40 or more hours per week of care, you may apply for a $1,000 voucher that can go toward respite services provided by a contracted agency that meets state requirements. Limit of one application per year. Call 425-740-3788 or email Linda Porter at lporter@homage.org.
Senior companionship. The Senior Companion Program assists seniors who live at home with chores, such as shopping, paying bills and running errands. In addition to help around the house, volunteers provide friendship and a break for caregivers. Do you need help? Or want to be a senior companion? Call 425-879-7050 or email Mary Higgins mhiggins@homage.org.
Visit homage.org for information about any of these services.
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