Guy Fieri: the unwitting poet laureate of the bar and grill

  • By L.V. Anderson Slate
  • Thursday, April 24, 2014 3:12pm
  • Life

The food blog, Eater, unveiled the menu for Guy Fieri’s Vegas Kitchen &Bar earlier this month, and it is chockablock with “wow-sabi cream,” “gnarly Greek salad,” and “Guy’s famous donkey sauce.” It’s also chockablock with exclamation points: 21 of them, by my count, starting with the very first item on the menu. (Sashimi Won-Tacos are allegedly “Everyone’s fave ‘cuz they’re wicked tasty!”)

But would Fieri’s menu sound quite as jocular without all those excitable punctuation marks? When I started taking the exclamation points out, I discovered that some of Fieri’s descriptions of greasy bar food convey a powerful poignancy.

The following poem is comprised of 10 of the exclamations from the Guy Fieri’s Vegas Kitchen &Bar menu. The sentences have been copied verbatim, except that their exclamation points have been replaced with other punctuation. I call it “Ode on a Gnarly Greek Salad.”

Ode on a Gnarly Greek Salad, By Guy Fieri

Truffle, truffle + more truffle,

Love, peace &taco grease.

They might not end the world, but they’ll end your hunger.

We have built this salad in a crown of prosciutto-wrapped smoked provolone:

Go big or go home.

All our richly marbled 100% USDA choice ground beef is smash-grilled

Try Guy’s blue-sabi sauce to put out the fire.

We make these wings a flavorful phenomenon with a sweet + spicy sauce that

Will make your head spin.

This one packs a punch.

Come Fieri walk with me

Read the Eater blog’s take on the menu of Guy Fieri’s Las Vegas restaurant at tinyurl.com/EaterGuyFieri.

More in Life

Marysville theater stages Noel Coward’s timeless ‘Blithe Spirit’

The cast and crew at the Red Curtain Arts Center do a fine job with the 1940s British play.

Stringed instruments get workout at Cascade Symphony concert

Tchaikovsky’s “Serenade for Strings” is the orchestra’s first concert of the season.

Animating Van Gogh paintings proves to be trippy yet flawed

“Loving Vincent” relates the circumstances of the great painter’s death.

Confusing, muddled thriller confounds talented director, cast

“The Snowman,” based on a Scandinavian crime novel, suffers from catastrophic storytelling problems.

‘Breathe’ ignores all the inspirational movie cliches

It tells the story of a polio patient and his wife who helped change attitudes about the disabled.

New Edmonds bakery showcases owner’s mastery of pastry

Desserts are the highlight at Ganache Patisserie and Cafe on Main Street near the theater.

What you’ll see Thursday night on Everett, Edmonds art walks

Third Thursday evenings in Everett and Edmonds offer chances for interesting strolls.… Continue reading

Fur & Feathers: 4 lovable dogs need homes

Meet Lola, Sadie, Scooter and Chance

British Film Institute strips Harvey Weinstein of highest honor

He was awarded a BFI Fellowship in 2002 for his contribution to British cinema.

Most Read