Easter without the gore. That was my plan the first time I explained the basic tenets of Christianity to my son. He was 3 years old at the time, so I left out the passion in favor of the purpose.
I ended with “People all over the world believe different things, but a lot of people use this time of year to remember that even though people die, love lives on and on forever.”
My son considered all this very seriously for a moment, and then looked up at me.
“Mommy,” he said. “Tell me more about the Easter Bunny.”
Ah yes, the Easter Bunny … my nemesis. He’s ready to dole out jelly beans like kiddie crack.
Halloween, Christmas and Valentine’s Day weren’t enough. Here comes another holiday designed to rot my children’s teeth.
A baby tooth with “a sugar bug” will eventually fall out and be replaced. The shame a mom feels for letting her child get a cavity in the first place is a guilt that will live on forever.
I should know. I somehow exited childhood with zero cavities. At my children’s last dentist appointment, they had one each.
There have been major changes at our house ever since. We have toothbrushes in almost every room of the house. Desserts have been slashed and candy has been dumped.
I have a strong suspicion that when the Easter Bunny comes this year he will be bringing floss. Maybe he’ll bring some sugarless gum too, if he’s feeling generous.
Fighting sugar seems like a losing battle, especially since I’m an addict myself. I have my secret stash of chocolate behind the coffee filters. I’m not proud.
Sugar is also everywhere we go. Even a trip to the bank involves lollipops. Swimming lessons take us past a vending machine. Whining ensues.
These past few months I have made a huge effort to cut back on the sweets. It was really rough the first week, but then things got better and my kids stopped complaining so much. At least, I thought things were getting better.
I kept finding spoons in odd places around the house, like behind the recliner and next to the bathroom sink. I just chalked this up to another mystery of modern living.
Then I found an empty bottle of honey in the playroom. My kids had drained the whole bottle.
So toothpaste. The Easter Bunny is definitely bringing toothpaste to our house this year. It’s decided.
Jennifer Bardsley is an Edmonds mom of two and blogs at teachingmybabytoread.blog.com.