Love gone wrong? Get over it, digitally

NEW YORK — You thought you found your one true love online, but now you’ve been dumped by text or defriended on Facebook without a peep of explanation. Hours of bad TV in your bathrobe haven’t helped. Your friends are tired of your whining.

Forget a pampering makeover to help heal your broken heart this Valentine’s Day. Go for a “digital breakover” instead.

Online dating sites and apps for hooking up on the go are abundant. Only one of the Apple app store’s recent top 12 downloads for the iPhone was about something other than romantic love, but breakup tech hasn’t kept pace.

Melissa McGlone, 46, in Alexandria, Va., turned to The Ex-App after a three-year relationship ended recently with an unceremonious text. After a weak moment or three of electronically stalking her dumper, she used the text, call and email blocker to hold his digits at bay until she could resist temptation on her own.

“I no longer humiliate myself by trying to contact him,” said McGlone, a divorced mother who was 18 years out of the dating scene when the two first met.

The free app took off last March with about 3,000 downloads in the first nine months. Unlike other blocking tools, The Ex-App also tracks the number of consecutive days spent NOT trying to ferret out a former love.

In New York, 28-year-old Amanda Green relied on the well-established Dear Old Love Tumblr blog after she was dumped on Independence Day 2009, a year into a relationship. The site for the lovelorn describes itself as an anonymous safe haven for “short notes to people we’ve loved (or at least liked). Requited or unrequited.” A selection of notes from the site was later turned into a book.

“It’s a refuge for those of us who know our friends are getting tired of listening to us, or those of us who don’t have a confidante at all,” said Green. “It’s also a reminder of how universal these feelings are.”

There’s also CheaterVille.com, a site full of alleged cheaters complete with mugshot-like photos and sometimes lengthy explanations of love deceptions. The posters are anonymous.

And NeverLikedItAnyway.com, where dumpees sell off their engagement rings, wedding gowns and other gifts from exes. A recent bargain of the week featured an anonymous teacher’s lynx fur jacket with a real-world price of $12,000 but a breakup asking price of $7,995. Transactions are private via direct message through the site.

The latest entrant is WotWentWrong, brand new for dumpees in search of feedback from their formers.

Registered users fill out detailed questionnaires covering what information they’re after (was it my hair, the way I dressed?) and can customize a template letter to be sent through the site to an ex. The ex can respond with as much detail as he or she desires through the site, without contacting the sender directly.

The site owner, Audrey Melnik, came up with the idea after a first date she thought went well vanished without a word. The site received 28,000 unique visitors less than two weeks after it was launched Jan. 24, Melnik said.

Melnik and Andrea Miller, who runs the dating portal YourTango.com, are certainly tech savvy, but they’re both old fashioned when it comes to breaking up.

“It’s totally inappropriate to break up digitally,” Miller said. “You should have a conversation.”

Miller has declared Feb. 13 “break up with your ex day” for the second year, offering a range of “breakover” tips and advice on her site.

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Local News

A firefighter stands in silence before a panel bearing the names of L. John Regelbrugge and Kris Regelbrugge during the ten-year remembrance of the Oso landslide on Friday, March 22, 2024, at the Oso Landslide Memorial in Oso, Washington. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
‘Flood of emotions’ as Oso Landslide Memorial opens on 10th anniversary

Friends, family and first responders held a moment of silence at 10:37 a.m. at the new 2-acre memorial off Highway 530.

Julie Petersen poses for a photo with images of her sister Christina Jefferds and Jefferds’ grand daughter Sanoah Violet Huestis next to a memorial for Sanoah at her home on March 20, 2024 in Arlington, Washington. Peterson wears her sister’s favorite color and one of her bangles. (Annie Barker / The Herald)
‘It just all came down’: An oral history of the Oso mudslide

Ten years later, The Daily Herald spoke with dozens of people — first responders, family, survivors — touched by the deadliest slide in U.S. history.

Victims of the Oso mudslide on March 22, 2014. (Courtesy photos)
Remembering the 43 lives lost in the Oso mudslide

The slide wiped out a neighborhood along Highway 530 in 2014. “Even though you feel like you’re alone in your grief, you’re really not.”

Director Lucia Schmit, right, and Deputy Director Dara Salmon inside the Snohomish County Department of Emergency Management on Friday, March 8, 2024, in Everett, Washington. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
How Oso slide changed local emergency response ‘on virtually every level’

“In a decade, we have just really, really advanced,” through hard-earned lessons applied to the pandemic, floods and opioids.

Ron and Gail Thompson at their home on Monday, March 4, 2024 in Oso, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
In shadow of scarred Oso hillside, mudslide’s wounds still feel fresh

Locals reflected on living with grief and finding meaning in the wake of a catastrophe “nothing like you can ever imagine” in 2014.

Rep. Suzan DelBene, left, introduces Xichitl Torres Small, center, Undersecretary for Rural Development with the U.S. Department of Agriculture during a talk at Thomas Family Farms on Monday, April 3, 2023, in Snohomish, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Under new federal program, Washingtonians can file taxes for free

At a press conference Wednesday, U.S. Rep. Suzan DelBene called the Direct File program safe, easy and secure.

Former Snohomish County sheriff’s deputy Jeremie Zeller appears in court for sentencing on multiple counts of misdemeanor theft Wednesday, March 27, 2024, at Snohomish County Superior Court in Everett, Washington. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
Ex-sheriff’s deputy sentenced to 1 week of jail time for hardware theft

Jeremie Zeller, 47, stole merchandise from Home Depot in south Everett, where he worked overtime as a security guard.

Everett
11 months later, Lake Stevens man charged in fatal Casino Road shooting

Malik Fulson is accused of shooting Joseph Haderlie to death in the parking lot at the Crystal Springs Apartments last April.

T.J. Peters testifies during the murder trial of Alan Dean at the Snohomish County Courthouse on Tuesday, March 26, 2024 in Everett, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Bothell cold case trial now in jury’s hands

In court this week, the ex-boyfriend of Melissa Lee denied any role in her death. The defendant, Alan Dean, didn’t testify.

A speed camera facing west along 220th Street Southwest on Tuesday, Nov. 21, 2023 in Edmonds, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
New Washington law will allow traffic cams on more city, county roads

The move, led by a Snohomish County Democrat, comes as roadway deaths in the state have hit historic highs.

Mrs. Hildenbrand runs through a spelling exercise with her first grade class on the classroom’s Boxlight interactive display board funded by a pervious tech levy on Tuesday, March 19, 2024 in Marysville, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Lakewood School District’s new levy pitch: This time, it won’t raise taxes

After two levies failed, the district went back to the drawing board, with one levy that would increase taxes and another that would not.

Alex Hanson looks over sections of the Herald and sets the ink on Wednesday, March 30, 2022 in Everett, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Black Press, publisher of Everett’s Daily Herald, is sold

The new owners include two Canadian private investment firms and a media company based in the southern United States.

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.