A suite at 30,000 feet

Swim, Jeeves: Abu Dhabi-based airline Etihad Airways is going all out for upscale customers, offering a three-room suite on some planes with a living room, bedroom and private bathroom with shower.

In the event of a water landing, the suite’s white-gloved London-trained butler can be used as a flotation device.

Have they checked his sister’s basement? The whereabouts of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford are unknown after he flew to Chicago to enter rehab for substance abuse, then returned to Canada. Ford may have been advised that he would have been denied entry because his alleged drug use.

But on his way back to Toronto, Ford was heard yelling at an assistant who forgot to bring enough Timbits to butter up the TSA agents.

Don’t know much about history: On this day in 1789, the first U.S. inaugural ball was held in honor of President George Washington. His wife, Martha, did not attend, as she was in Virginia.

Without a dancing partner, Washington stood next to the punch bowl and repeatedly hit refresh on his smartphone waiting for NFL draft updates.

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