Ah’m Bahtmahn, and Ah’m wicked pissah

Pahk da Bahtmahbile, Rahbin: The reaction from fanboys and others on the Internet has been as swift as it’s been negative: Few are interested in seeing Boston native Ben Affleck play the Dahk Knight (sorry), Batman, when he and Superman team up in a 2015 movie for Warner Bros.

Boy, they’re really going to be upset when they learn Wonder Woman is going to be played by Roseanne Barr.

It looks like you’re trying to replace your CEO. Can I help you with that? With Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer set to retire in a year, the question already is being asked who might replace him as the software giant continues a reorganization announced a month ago.

What Microsoft needs is someone who knows the company’s history, is personable, efficient and full of helpful ideas. We nominate Clippy, the Microsoft Office paperclip personal assistant.

Even cheaper than buying blanks: A small town in Georgia is backing away from an ordinance that mandates gun ownership for every head of household. In a settlement with a gun-control group, the town agreed to add a provision saying the ordinance was not enforceable and would never be enforced.

“Eureka!” cried every member of Congress. “Now we can pass laws, add a clause that says they won’t be enforced, and look like we’re actually getting something done.”

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