Apple jacked

Surface tension: An Associated Press technology reporter, given a few moments with Microsoft’s new tablet computer, the Surface, reports that the folks in Redmond got the hardware right but missed with the software. The touch screen lags and the navigation isn’t very intuitive, he reports.

The AP reporter in question has been sent to a Bill Gates-sponsored re-education summer camp where he’ll spend some time in immersion sessions with a Zune mp3 player and Surface tutorials led by Clippy.

Too many Cuba libres: Fidel Castro, the 85-year-old former Cuban president once known for long-winded diatribes and reminisces, recently has been releasing much shorter but more baffling dispatches, including the cryptic, “What are the FC?”

Our best guesses: a new brand of Cuban cigar he’s marketing; a rejected name for the Microsoft Surface, short for Fun Computer; or a new boy band dubbed Viva Che G. and the Fidel Castros.

Tut, tut: Deposed Egyptian dictator Hosni Mubarak is reportedly near death, while a political power struggle continues in the North African country, pitting against each other a newly elected president, a defunct legislature and military generals.

Meanwhile, the treasures of Tutankhamun are on display in Seattle. This is what it’s like to be the guy who holds his buddies’ beers during a drunken brawl at a party.