April Fools

Do you have a license for your monkey? Justin Bieber, pop singer and Lhasa apso hybrid, had to leave a capuchin monkey in quarantine after landing in Germany last week because he didn’t have the proper documentation to bring the simian into the country.

But it could have been worse; airport authorities nearly barred Bieber entry into Germany himself because he couldn’t produce proper papers to bring a Lhasa apso into the country.

Every flea dreams of a break like this: An entire troupe of performing fleas fell victim to freezing temperatures in Germany and died, forcing the trainer of the flea circus to scramble to find replacement insects so he could keep an engagement at a fair.

Fortunately, Justin Bieber had a spare troupe of fleas keeping warm in his shiny blond locks with ample show business experience.

Where every hour is happy hour: Gov. Jay Inslee, D-Harshing the Buzz, has asked the State Liquor Control Board to develop rules to stop the spread of pot bars. At least two bars in the state are allowing patrons to use their own marijuana. Marijuana is legal but not in public spaces, such as bars.

But the problem is likely to solve itself. There’s no way any bar will be able to stock enough pretzels and bar mix to handle the munchies of a pub full of pot smokers.

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Opinion

toon
Editorial cartoons for Thursday, March 28

A sketchy look at the news of the day.… Continue reading

Initiative promoter Tim Eyman takes a selfie photo before the start of a session of Thurston County Superior Court, Wednesday, Feb. 10, 2021, in Olympia, Wash. Eyman, who ran initiative campaigns across Washington for decades, will no longer be allowed to have any financial control over political committees, under a ruling from Superior Court Judge James Dixon Wednesday that blasted Eyman for using donor's contributions to line his own pocket. Eyman was also told to pay more than $2.5 million in penalties. (AP Photo/Ted S. Warren)
Editorial: Initiative fee increase protects process, taxpayers

Bumped up to $156 from $5, the increase may discourage attempts to game the initiative process.

Protecting forests and prevent another landslide like Oso

Thank you for the powerful and heartbreaking article about the Oso landslide… Continue reading

Boeing’s downfall started when engineers demoted

Boeing used to be run by engineers who made money to build… Continue reading

Learn swimming safety to protect kids at beach, pool

Don’t forget to dive into water safety before hitting the pool or… Continue reading

Comment: Why shootings have decreased but gun deaths haven’t

High-capacity magazines and ‘Glock switches’ that allow automatic fire have increased lethality.

Washington state senators and representatives along with Governor Inslee and FTA Administrator Nuria Fernandez break ground at the Swift Orange Line on Tuesday, April 19, 2022 in Lynnwood, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Editorial: Community Transit making most of Link’s arrival

The Lynnwood light rail station will allow the transit agency to improve routes and frequency of buses.

toon
Editorial cartoons for Wednesday, March 27

A sketchy look at the news of the day.… Continue reading

An image of Everett Mayor Cassie Franklin is reflected in a storefront window during the State of the City Address on Thursday, March 21, 2024, at thee Everett Mall in Everett, Washington. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
Editorial: State of city address makes case for Everett’s future

Mayor Franklin outlines challenges and responses as the city approaches significant decisions.

FILE - The massive mudslide that killed 43 people in the community of Oso, Wash., is viewed from the air on March 24, 2014. (AP Photo/Ted S. Warren, File)
Editorial: Mapping landslide risks honors those lost in Oso

Efforts continue in the state to map areas prone to landslides and prevent losses of life and property.

Burke: ‘Why not write about Biden, for once?’ Don’t mind if I do.

They asked; I’ll oblige. Let’s consider what the president has accomplished since the 2020 election.

Comment: Catherine missed chance to dispel shame of cancer

She wasn’t obligated to do so, but she might have used her diagnosis to educate a sympathetic public.

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.