Barbie’s all dolled up for the swimsuit issue

Jon Bauer, Herald staff

Bawdy image: The Barbie doll, unnatural measurements and all, is being featured in Sports Illustrated’s 50th anniversary swimsuit issue and will “own who she is” and stop apologizing for her figure, Mattel says.

We’d be more impressed if her pictures weren’t being photoshopped to conceal the gaps between her torso and her arms and legs.

Mom, your PC is so 2002: Microsoft says it will no longer offer tech support for its 12-year-old Windows XP software and is asking its more tech-savvy customers to prod their friends and family into upgrading to Window 8.1. And the easiest way to do that, it said, is to buy new PCs, tablets and smartphones.

You know, the kind of condescending prodding you already hear from owners of Apple iMacs, iPads and iPhones.

Apologies in advance: Federal biologists say that a small fish in Oregon and Californian streams, the Modoc sucker, can be removed from the endangered species list. Fish populations have recovered since it was first listed in 1985.

Biologists credited the rebound with a sucker being born every minute.