Beatles were really lizards

Let’s start a conspiracy theory that conspiracy theorists are plotting to take over the world. That’s the lamestream media for you, getting it wrong about who poses a threat.

Public Policy Polling recently asked voters where they stand on 20 conspiracy theories. According to a USA Today article, “The results show that a not-insignificant number of people believe that President Obama is the anti-Christ (13 percent), Big Foot exists (14 percent), and the planet is secretly ruled by the New World Order (28 percent). Four percent think our societies are actually ruled by “lizard people.”

(Hmm. It makes sense. If Obama is the anti-Christ, no wonder his birth certificate is fake.)

Here’s another theory, conspiracy or otherwise: Despite supplying information such as, “The margin of error for the overall sample is +/-2.8%” some polls really aren’t that scientific. Public Policy Polling surveyed 1,247 registered American voters by phone from March 27 to March 30. And from that, it’s extrapolated that 28 percent of all American voters think the planet is secretly ruled by the New World Order.

(If that’s true, the New World Order is sure making a mess of it. Unless North Korea is part of the evil plan.)

The poll also mixes up things that can and should be debated and documented, such as did “President Bush mislead Americans about the presence of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq,” (the poll says 44 percent people believe he did, while 45 percent do not) and plain nutty theories such as, “Are we being governed by lizard people?” (Four percent.)

Other results from the poll:

•21 percent believe the government covered up a UFO crash in Roswell; 29 percent believe in aliens.

6 percent believe Osama bin Laden is alive.

5 percent think Paul McCartney has been dead for decades.

15 percent think there’s mind-control technology hidden in TV signals.

37 percent think global warming is a hoax.

7 percent think the moon landing was faked.

15 percent think Big Pharma develops new diseases as a way to make money.

So what percentage thinks that they’re all true? (Wouldn’t it be fun to hear some of the phone calls? “Do you believe we are being governed by lizard people?” “Duh.” “Has Paul McCartney been dead for decades?” “Doy.” “Is there mind-control technology hidden in TV signals?” I don’t think so, but the remote is telling me I have to hang up now.)

It’s not a conspiracy theory that these people are registered voters. But of course they might have been having a little fun with the pollster, as aliens and lizards are wont to do.

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