Birther of a nation

Release the hounds: Reality show pimp and morally bankrupt real estate mogul Donald Trump is offering to donate $5 million to charity if President Barack Obama, D-Fix Bayonets!, releases his college and passport records.

We’re taking up a collection now to donate $5 million to charity if Donald Trump releases the furry animal he uses as a toupee.

Edging is extra: Europe has become the cutting edge for robotic lawn mowers with companies such as Husqvarna, Honda and others selling the self-guided garden robots for up to $6,500, at a time when most European consumers are pinching their euros.

Desparate for extra cash to pump into their economies, European Union officials are donning robot costumes and going door to door offering to mow lawns.

Ah, wilderness: Google is taking its street-view mapping cameras offroad and onto hiking trails, mounting the cameras on a backpack carried by hikers in Grand Canyon National Park. Once the photos are online, Internet users will be able to virtually hike wilderness trails from home.

Well, why not? While the robot is mowing the lawn, you might as well stretch your virtual legs and breathe some virtual fresh air.

—Jon Bauer, Herald staff