Call before you dig: The state Transportation Department is drilling shafts in front of its tunnel-digging machine, Bertha, to remove a metal pipe that is blocking its path. The pipe was left by a state contractor in 2002.
With 9/10ths of its tunneling ahead of it, there’s still a good chance Bertha will hit other obstacles, including the Forgotten Tomb of Ye Olde Curiosity Shop, a clam gun dropped by Ivar Haglund, a cache of 1962 World’s Fair souvenirs and cask of lutefisk (still edible) buried by Norwegians in 1880.
Angling to join the Globetrotters? The NBA has fined New York Knicks guard J.R. Smith $50,000 for trying to untie the shoe laces of an opponent during a free-throw attempt.
Just a warning for Seattle Seahawk running back Marshawn Lynch: If any New Orleans Saints defenders’ shoes are untied during Saturday’s game, the NFL apparently knows where to find you.
A little fuzzy on meaning of “public transit”: A Granite Falls man has admitted to police that he stole 100 cars since August, all of which he took because he needed a ride. On one occasion, he stole a car because he needed to get to court.
Next time, pal, take the bus. Scratch that. Ride the bus.