Clean, shaven

President Barack Obama arrived in Myanmar today in the first visit by a U.S. president to the Southeast Asian nation that had long been a pariah because of its oppressive military regime.

Obama’s official message to the Myanmar government consisted of a series of roadside signs: “Down with dictatorship / Democracy’s finer / We’re your friends / Not China / Burma-Shave.”

It’s a cover-up: A ban on nudity in public places will be voted on this week by city supervisors in San Francisco, where it apparently is common practice for people to stroll the streets while not wearing a stitch.

If the new law doesn’t chase these exhibitionists indoors during San Francisco’s chilly winter, hypothermia should do the job.

Big #&!#ing deal: Second lady Jill Biden recently published a children’s book entitled “Don’t Forget, God Bless Our Troops”. It’s both a salute to U.S. troops who do the hard work in combat zones, and the commas that heroically splice together two independent clauses.

Mrs. Biden’s next book, “Don’t Forget, Your Gaffes Embarrass and Annoy the President,” will be dedicated to her husband.

— Mark Carlson, Herald staff