CyberDriver

California Gov. Jerry Brown on Tuesday signed legislation paving the way for those driverless cars Google’s been working on.

The robots driving the cars will be fully functional California drivers — and that means they’ll tailgate you on the freeway, and then flip you off when they pass you on the right.

If they could turn back time: The CEO of the company that makes the BlackBerry insists that an upcoming upgrade will restore the device to its pre-iPhone and Android glory.

The new software won’t be ready for a while, presumably because Research in Motion Ltd. engineers haven’t figured out how to implement the time machine necessary to take everyone back to 2007.

iDeath sentence: In other smartphone news, an ultra-Orthodox rabbi in Israel has decreed that his followers must burn their iPhones, so as to protect themselves from the temptations of the Internet.

Free advice to Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky: As countless iPhone owners have discovered to their chagrin, the best way to destroy the device is not fire, but dropping it into the toilet while pulling up your pants.

— Mark Carlson, Herald staff