Drinking the Kool-Aid

Another unemployed childhood icon: Kool-Aid is revamping its Kool-Aid Man mascot, changing him from the live-action soft-drink pitcher who crashes through walls and yells, “Oh, yeah!” to a digitally animated character with a wider vocabulary.

That’s left the unemployed Kool-Aid Man to work for tips at bars and pizza joints as a beer pitcher. But he’s been fired at each for startling customers and damaging walls.

Touch ‘em all: Birders have their life lists or birds they have seen in the wild, and many baseball fans have their own life list, a quest to catch a game or more at all 30 major league parks in the U.S. and Canada.

Of course, the easy one for us is Safeco Field, the home of the Seattle Mariners. Safeco offers the added attraction of being quiet enough and so devoid of fans that birders can come and have a good chance of checking off a few birds from their life lists.

It will all come out in the end: Police in New Hampshire obtained a search warrant to force a man to get an X-ray after he allegedly picked up a diamond ring in a jewelry store, walked out, then swallowed the ring when employees confronted him. The X-ray confirmed the white gold ring with a princess-cut diamond was in his gut.

Presumably his lawyer requested a box of Ex-Lax so his client could make bail.

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