Earth mirth

There goes the neighborhood: A University of Washington astrophysicist and astronomy professor has added the discovery of a second planet to his credit. Kepler-62f, 1,200 light years away, is considered the most Earth-like plant ever found outside our solar system. It is a rocky planet 1.4 times the size of the Earth and with temperatures that would allow liquid water, crucial to the presence of life.

The Kepler-62f-ians, having caught a little of last week’s news on the Galactic News Network, demanded an immediate apology for being called “Earth-like.”

The Earthlings tax beer? Proposals to double the amount of tax that beer brewers pay per barrel brought angry microbrewers to the steps of the state Capitol last week.

Sin taxes, such as those on tobacco, alcohol and soon on pot, are common targets for increases. Pot smokers protested their tax in Olympia, too, but forgot what they were doing when they began arguing about which Willie Nelson song to play.

Don’t know much about history: On this day in 1970, Americans concerned about the environment marked the first Earth Day.

Coincidentally, Kepler-62 f-ians, also shocked by what Earthlings had done to the Earth’s environment, began searching for a new Kepler-62f-like planet but one farther away from Earth.

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