Grab a plastic bag, Joe

Biden now on yard cleanup duty: The White House announced the arrival of a second dog for the Obama family. Like Bo, the Obamas’ first dog, Sunny is a Portuguese water dog.

Sunny’s appointment to deputy family dog was held up for months because of the threat of a filibuster by Senate Republicans who demanded the position be given to an American dog.

He’ll start by promising never to be nice: U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz of Texas, who officially has dual Canadian-U.S. citizenship by virtue of his birth in Calgary to an American mother, said he will renounce his Canadian citizenship, clearing a potential hurdle for a possible run for president in 2016.

In order to renounce his Canadian citizenship, Cruz, R-Eh?, must complete a complicated ritual that involves riding a moose backward through Parliament while shunning a box of Tim Horton’s Timbits and singing The Guess Who’s “American Woman.”

Explains the new gardening section in the Washington Post: Amazon.com’s planned headquarters in downtown Seattle will include three large bubble-like domes that will be home to more than 800 Amazon workers.

Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos denied that the terrarium-like domes were intended for a race of human-plant hybrid call center employees who will be paid in water and Miracle-Gro.

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