Jon Bauer, Herald staff
Channel-surfing the vast cultural wasteland: The Weather Channel is launching a new reality series, “Fat Guys in the Woods,” which drops obese men into the wild and has them fend for themselves, building shelter, starting a fire and hunting for food.
With every channel breaking into reality shows, we suggest that C-SPAN give us “Congress in a Representative Democracy,” where candidates are dropped on to the campaign trail, stripped of their corporate donations and forced to listen to their constituents. While we’re at it — since it’s the latest twist on reality shows — make them do it naked.
Bagged pipes: Customs agents at New Hampshire’s border with Canada seized two bagpipes because the instruments have ivory parts. Elephant ivory is barred from U.S. import.
Customs agents also said they were protecting America from instruments of mass annoyance.
A cruller fate: Police in North Carolina arrested a man on a warrant who the day before had won a doughnut-eating contest during the police department’s National Night Out Against Crime. The man had eaten eight doughnuts in two minutes, beating out local cops.
As part of his Miranda warning, the man was reminded that “anything you eat can and will be used against you in a court of law.”