I’ll see your job offer and raise you a 401(k) plan

Where are the jobs for Solitaire players? Caesars Entertainment in Las Vegas uses a fitting method for judging who among MBA grads might make good executives: a Texas Hold’em poker tournament. “Poker players are analytical and are willing to take strategic risk, and that is what we’re looking for,” said a Caesars human resources manager.

So when your college student tells you that she’s working on her analytical and strategic skills this weekend, remind her that after seeing the flop she shouldn’t hesitate to cut her losses if she has a bad hand.

Just water for me, thanks: PepsiCo, the maker of Gatorade, announced that it will remove brominated vegetable oil from the sports drink. The “flavor emulsifier” is banned in Japan and Europe except — and we are not making this up — as a flame retardant. Instead, another emulsifier will be used — and again we are not making this up — called sucrose acetate isobutyrate.

“I don’t know what it is, but it sounds good to me,” said Lance Armstrong as he quickly phoned Pepsi-Co about an endorsement deal.

You wouldn’t hit a secretary with glasses with a subpoena, would you? Aides to Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton say her recent switch from contacts to thick-framed glasses is related to health issues from her recent concussion. An aide said Clinton can see fine and has enjoyed recent articles about what each adjustment of her glasses means.

We’re pretty sure we understand the message she’s communicating in using one particular finger to push up her specs when addressing Republican members of Congress.

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