Is your turn, go directly to gulag

Do nyet pass go, do nyet collect 2 zlotys: An institute in Poland is releasing an English language version of its board game, “Kolejka,” Polish for “queue,” which was developed to teach youths about the frustrations of living in communist Poland. Also called “Communist Monopoly,” “Kolejka” players wait in long lines, only to be denied purchase of the items they waited for.

Coming soon from game makers Brothers Parkerazov, “Communist Chutes and More Chutes,” “Red Chinese Checkers” and “Communist Risk,” which is the same as classic “Risk” but has only one player.

Klaatu barada nikto: The National Geographic Channel recently conducted a poll about extraterrestrial beings and UFOs and asked who would be better able to handle an alien encounter, President Barack Obama or challenger Mitt Romney.

In the poll, Obama was the choice of most polled because he would offer E.T. a path to citizenship, while Romney would only welcome alien corporations as people.

Only explanation: Many Supreme Court watchers were shocked by Thursday’s ruling on President Obama’s health care reforms, particularly that the 5-4 majority was led by Republican appointee Chief Justice John Roberts.

But all was made clear later when the justice’s doppelganger returned to his sleep pod in his UFO.

—Jon Bauer, Herald staff