Jiminy Cricket!

Jon Bauer, Herald staff

When you whine upon a star: Boeing rival Airbus is running an ad that shows a Boeing jet with a Pinocchiolike nose, and complains that Boeing has exaggerated its claims about the efficiencies of the 737 Max. An official for the French-based Airbus said it was concerned that “less sophisticated airlines” might be swayed by Boeing’s claims and wouldn’t consider its A320neo.

“Shucks,” said a spokesman for JimBob’s Flight Service and Septic Pumpin’. “We’d be happier than a pig in slop to take a look at that there A320 En-Ee-Oh air-ee-oh-plane o’ yourn. Do it come with a bed liner?”

Copyrights and wrongs: Facebook is attempting to tamp down a viral hoax on the social network. Facebook users are led to believe that they would lose the rights to their photos and other content posted to the network, under the mistaken belief that Facebook is claiming it owns the rights now.

Of course, this means Facebook won’t be publishing its planned coffee table book: “What’s for Dinner? The Unappetizing Food Instagrams of Facebook Users.”

Don’t know much about history: On this day in 1861, Missouri was admitted into the Confederacy after its disputed secession from the Union.

Its secession was called into question because it had failed to reach the minimum of signatures needed on its online petition to the White House.