Könfusing

How to read pictograms: Ikea kitchen cabinets can be a good value, but with a catch: Some assembly — make that a crap-ton of assembly — is required. Fortunately, online resources explain the Ikea process — if not how they come up with those pseudo-Swedish product names.

Bonus tip: Reserve at least one kitchen drawer to store all those Allen wrenches that come in every Ikea box.

Might as well stay in Olympia: Seattle police say they’ll be on guard for acts of violence or vandalism at today’s May Day march in the Emerald City.

Also, anarchists should know that temperatures in downtown Seattle are expected to hit 81 degrees today, so dressing entirely in black will be very uncomfortable.

Don’t know much about history: On this day in 1911, the song “I Want a Girl (Just Like the Girl That Married Dear Old Dad),” by Harry Von Tilzer feat. Will Dillon, was first published.

Surprisingly, the unsubtle Oedipal subject matter did not get the song slapped with one of those “Parental Advisory Explicit Content” labels.

— Mark Carlson, Herald staff