Leftover turkeys

Laid a big turkey egg: Wal-Mart, Macy’s and other retailers’ plans to lengthen the start of the Christmas shopping season by opening stores on Thanksgiving brought in a record 141 million shoppers over the four-day weekend, but sales actually fell about 3 percent.

The good news for last-minute shoppers is that this probably means the same stores will be open on Christmas.

Channel surfing the vast cultural wasteland: Among the holiday movies this week is Lifetime’s “Christmas in the City,” a heartwarming tale of a department store Santa being sacked in favor of hunky male underwear models.

Where do they get this stuff? That’s about as likely as Wal-Mart and Macy’s making their employees work on Thanksgiving to squeeze a little more cash out of shoppers.

It’s raining Washingtons: A Minnesota man was cited for disorderly conduct after he tossed 1,000 dollar bills from a balcony at the Mall of America as a choir sang, “Let it Snow.”

Macy’s, Wal-Mart and other major retailers desperate to make up for lost sales, immediately booked choirs and went to the bank for $1 bills.

More in Opinion

Editorial: Don’t reverse rule on oil train brakes

The Trump administration, in its haste to reverse an Obama-era rule, is jeopardizing public safety.

Editorial cartoons for Wednesday, Dec. 13

A sketchy look at the day in politics and society.… Continue reading

Editorial cartoons for Tuesday, Dec. 12

A sketchy look at the day in politics.… Continue reading

Editorial cartoons for Monday, Dec. 11

A sketchy look at the day in politics.… Continue reading

Editorial: Yet another owner for The Everett Clinic

After its brief time with DaVita, uncertainty returns for the clinic with its sale to an insurer.

Editorial cartoons for Sunday, Dec. 10

A sketchy look at the day in politics.… Continue reading

Editorial cartoons for Saturday, Dec. 9

A sketchy look at the day in politics.… Continue reading

Other Voices: Gas pump stickers will outline state’s tax

Motorists soon will see stickerss on gas pump that show the state’s gas tax for each gallon.

Parker: Is Trump prepared for the fury his tweet released?

Amid heightened attention over sexual harassment, Trump just had to insult a senator — a woman.

Most Read