Life-affirming lessons

Take a nap every afternoon: Robert Fulghum, whose “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten” gave such gentle advice as “Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you,” is scheduled to speak Wednesday at the United Way’s Spirit of Snohomish County Breakfast .

In that vein, today we offer “All You Really Need to Know You Can Learn from The Buzz.”

News item: A science writer has a rap video on YouTube about the massive atomic particle accelerator in Switzerland.

The life-affirming lesson: You can rhyme uranium with geranium.

News item: A mechanical gorilla, mounted on a concrete base, was reported stolen by the owner of a flea market in Maine.

Life-affirming lesson: Never underestimate the strength of college students amped up on energy drinks and beer.

News item: A pair of Queen Victoria’s stockings sold for $14,300.

Life-affirming lesson: It’s OK to laugh at the Queen’s knickers.

News item: A writer has eight tips for teens on how to effectively ask for what they want, such as not saying “All my friends have it.”

Life-affirming lesson: The answer’s still no.

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