Olympic-sized fools

Jon Bauer, Herald staff

Red, white and blew it: Republicans and Democrats, united at last, angrily criticized the U.S. Olympic Committee’s decision to outfit U.S. athletes for the opening and closing ceremonies in uniforms made in China. Several in Congress called for new uniforms to be made in the U.S.

But with the Summer Games less than two weeks away and so many of our manufacturing jobs already overseas, the nation’s knitters better get busy.

When you wish upon a star: Scientists are using the Hubble Space Telescope to search for small moons orbiting the no-longer-a-planet Pluto and recently found a fifth moon. Three earlier moons, Charon, Nix and Hydra, were given names from Greek mythology.

Considering that astronomers demoted Pluto to “dwarf planet” and if two more moons are found, we suggest that Pluto’s moons be named Sneezy, Sleepy, Happy, Grumpy, Bashful, Doc and Dopey.

Dopey must be a city planner in Germany: The German town of Triberg has drawn criticism because it has designated two parking spaces at its parking lot as “men only,” because the diagonal parking spots between a pillar and a wall are “tricky.”

After all, it’s well known that manly skills like parking are based on what’s in your jeans, er, genes.