Our secret weapon

You know what? The United Nations Security Council imposed tough new sanctions against North Korea to punish the rogue nation for its latest nuclear test.

But if economic sanctions and bans of luxury exports fail to convince North Korea to end its nuclear program, the United States is now promising to carry out the unthinkable: carpet-bombing Pyongyang with a fully tattooed and pierced Dennis Rodman spewing inanities and contradictions.

Where’s the Cat Video Feed? Facebook gave a preview of its redesigned News Feed that will feature larger pictures and allow users to customize the content to show photos, music news, commercial pages or only posts from all their friends.

Also being added is a special Glurge Feed that will allow users to view only inspirational quotes superimposed over pretty pictures of running horses, rainbows and puppies.

Spit take: State senators are considering a bill that would allow college students under the age of 21 who are in culinary or beer and wine production programs to sample alcohol. Students could taste but not consume the alcohol.

A companion bill will allow agricultural students learning how to grow marijuana to smoke pot, as long as they don’t inhale.

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