Our secret weapon

You know what? The United Nations Security Council imposed tough new sanctions against North Korea to punish the rogue nation for its latest nuclear test.

But if economic sanctions and bans of luxury exports fail to convince North Korea to end its nuclear program, the United States is now promising to carry out the unthinkable: carpet-bombing Pyongyang with a fully tattooed and pierced Dennis Rodman spewing inanities and contradictions.

Where’s the Cat Video Feed? Facebook gave a preview of its redesigned News Feed that will feature larger pictures and allow users to customize the content to show photos, music news, commercial pages or only posts from all their friends.

Also being added is a special Glurge Feed that will allow users to view only inspirational quotes superimposed over pretty pictures of running horses, rainbows and puppies.

Spit take: State senators are considering a bill that would allow college students under the age of 21 who are in culinary or beer and wine production programs to sample alcohol. Students could taste but not consume the alcohol.

A companion bill will allow agricultural students learning how to grow marijuana to smoke pot, as long as they don’t inhale.

More in Opinion

Editorial cartoons for Sunday, Nov. 19

A sketchy look at the day in politics.… Continue reading

Editorial: School funding half-full, half-empty, but not ample

The Supreme Court says the state’s school funding plan won’t meet its deadline. So there’s work to do.

Viewpoint: How to bridge the political divide at Thanksgiving

With a little bravery and some listening skills, the holiday dinner table needn’t be a battlefield.

Commentary: Legislature hasn’t fixed teacher pay issue

Schools with larger poor and minority populations are still less capable of keeping good teachers.

Commentary: Mental health training for police is saving lives

The training ensures that officers have the tools to deescalate potentially dangerous situations.

Rampell: Corporations are better than people, in GOP’s eyes

The Republicans’ generous tax cuts for corporations will be paid by low- and middle-income people.

Will: In Illinois, battle looms over bankrupting ‘blue model’

Democratic control of its Legislature has led to population drain, budget overruns and tax hikes.

Parker: What to do after the gropers are — well — exposed

While the debate about these offenses is useful, should we put these monkeys in the same barrel?

Keillor: A day without a phone allows time for reflection

The opportunity to pretend it’s 1961 again proves that nostalgia ain’t what it used to be.

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