Out the Windows

It’s short for ‘expired’: Microsoft has ended support for Windows XP and will no longer provide security patches for the more-than-12-year-old operating system, even though it’s still in use by many people and businesses. Experts warn that those who continue to use XP could be vulnerable to hackers and malware.

You’ll know it’s time to upgrade when Clippy, the overly enthusiastic virtual assistant, shows up, grabs a parachute and says, “You’re on your own now, bub.”

The vast wasteland gets even more vast: Microsoft has signed several Hollywood actors and producers as it starts production of TV series intended for its Xbox subscribers.

Clippy, recently laid off from his XP job, showed up at the Xbox television studio and chirped, “It looks like you’re trying to make a TV series; can I help you with that?”

Who are you and what have you done with the Mariners? The Seattle Mariners, leading the AL West with a 4-2 record, play their home opener tonight at Safeco Field.

To celebrate the M’s best start in years, the first 30,000 fans will get a Mariners 2014 schedule that doesn’t already have every game marked with an “L.”

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