Passing judgment

Comes with its own robe and gavel: H. Ty Warner, the billionaire businessman behind the once-trendy Beanie Babies plush toys, was sentenced for tax evasion. Citing Warner’s “service and kindness to mankind,” the judge declined to send Warner to prison, giving him two years of probation.

Warner, in appreciation, presented the judge with his latest Beanie Baby, a spineless jellyfish.

Improper lane change: N.J. Gov. Chris Christie apologized again for a political payback scheme that was traced to his aides. “Mistakes were clearly made,” said Christie.

Christie, R-They-a Culpa, said in the future he would strive to deliver to his constituents the untraceable and fully deniable political payback they had come to expect in New Jersey.

Step away from the egg carton: Los Angeles Sheriff’s deputies searched the home of Justin Bieber after he allegedly threw eggs at a neighbor’s home in the gated celebrity enclave of Calabasas, causing at least $400 damage.

Yeah, we thought Tom Hanks would have a better sense of humor about it, too, but it’s tough to get dried egg out of stucco.

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