Rock of sages

For those about to rock garden: A Stanwood couple who are avid rock gardeners have arranged for Everett to host the annual meeting of the North American Rock Garden Society this weekend. Members will attend workshops and tour private gardens.

To welcome the visitors, we offer the following punchlines to open workshop sessions:

A. I tried rock gardening, but the rocks kept dying.

B. I planted a row of Eric Clapton, but I can’t get rid of the nasty Justin Bieber that keeps cropping up around it.

C. Old rock gardeners never die, the moss just catches up with them.

Multi-function: Apple announced its third and latest version of the iPad tablet computer. It’s faster than the iPad 2 and has a sharper screen and better camera. The new iPad is being released less than a year after the iPad 2.

This doesn’t mean earlier iPads are obsolete and unusable. Your current iPad can be used to level a wobbly table, swat flies or as a cookie sheet.

Never mind the border, just run: Taco Bell has introduced a new offering with a taco shell made from Nacho Cheese Doritos and its fluorescent cheeselike dust.

Wrap it in bacon and deep-fry it and you’re still 100 calories shy of a KFC Famous Chicken and Biscuit Bowl.

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