Rootin’ Putin

Welcome to new hockey training facility. In Siberia: With Russian President Vladimir Putin watching from the stands, Russia’s men’s hockey team was eliminated from Olympic medal contention.

Russia lost, 3-1, to Finland, despite a last-ditch effort by Putin who dashed from the stands in the final minutes, tossed aside the Russian goalie, ripped off his shirt and deflected pucks with his bare torso.

Found something they’re good at: Cossacks, authorized by Russian police, attacked members of the punk group Pussy Riot as it tried to perform in Sochi during the Olympics.

Putin, still shirtless from his hockey heroics, presented gold medals to the Cossacks for Slopestyle Dissent Suppression and the 500-meter Horsewhip.

Check your Bloomin’ Onion: A Portland man is suing an Outback Steakhouse franchise for $48,000 because he broke two teeth when he bit into pieces of a broken plate in his mashed potatoes.

Attorneys for the restaurant say the diner should have known the risks in ordering Outback’s Kangaroo Punch Porcelain Shards Platter.

More in Opinion

Editorial cartoons for Friday, Nov. 24

A sketchy look at the day in politics.… Continue reading

Keillor: Don’t count calories today; count your blessings

Load up your plate with gratitude for the gifts of Providence, from profiteroles to procrastination.

Commentary: Test your knowledge of Thanksgiving

Don’t try talking turkey until your know the facts.

Dionne: Warts and all, reason to be thankful for journalism

How one editor, a World War II vet, encouraged what reporters still strive for in each day’s work.

Milbank: Since you asked, Sarah, this is what I’m thankful for

For starters: I’m thankful for the Founders’ checks and balances that stand between us and despotism.

Having gratitude for others enhances our lives

I am thankful for gratitude because it makes me focus on the… Continue reading

Thankful for care provided by Providence Breast Center

It is always important to take time to count one’s blessings. I… Continue reading

Providence guild’s volunteers make a difference

As we celebrate Thanksgiving and enter this joyful holiday season, I appreciate… Continue reading

Most Read