Self-loathing

Don’t hit yourself: In Friday’s installment of the Rob Ford Show, the Toronto City Council stripped the dirty-talkin’, crack-smokin’, blackout-drunk mayor of many of his powers. The action prompted Hizzoner to muse, “If I would have had a mayor conducting themselves the way I have, I would have done exactly the same thing.”

Real-world Rob Ford then angrily denounced hypothetical Rob Ford, and smacked himself in the face a couple of times for good measure.

Concern troll: Saying her state is “on standby” for Boeing, South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley told reporters “I feel bad” for Washington Gov. Jay Inslee in the wake of the Machinists union’s vote.

Governor, it’s too early to tell if Boeing will be coming to you. But we do know that those crocodile tears are most unbecoming.

Don’t know much about history: On this day in 1885, Canadian rebel leader Louis Riel was executed for high treason.

Civilized Canada no longer executes traitors — unless the accused’s crimes include advocating an end to fist-fights in hockey or failing to demand Mayor Rob Ford’s resignation.

— Mark Carlson, Herald staff

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