St. Bart

Gratia D’oh! The Vatican’s newspaper, L’Osservatore Romano, which is Italian for “Little Nickel” has declared that Homer Simpson and son, Bart, from the animated Fox TV show, “The Simpsons,” are Roman Catholics, despite word from the show’s producer that the Simpsons, who attend the First Church of Springfield, are “Presbylutherans.”

Homer did consider joining the Catholic church, but declined when he learned he would not be given the keys to the popemobile.

Still can’t drink on the job: Steven Slater, the JetBlue flight attendant who yelled at a passenger, grabbed two beers and deployed an emergency slide, has pleaded guilty to attempted criminal mischief. He avoided jail time but must attend counseling for a year.

Slater promised to turn his life around and already has a new job with Boeing, testing emergency slides on 787s.

Glenn Beck wasn’t available: Congressional candidate John Koster, R-Peevish, has pulled out of a debate with Rep. Rick Larsen on KCTS-TV, reportedly because the panel of moderators would have included Herald political reporter Jerry Cornfield.

Koster must be serious; he even turned down KCTS’s offer of a free Channel 9 tote bag and a “KCTS Cooks” DVD.

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