Jon Bauer, Herald staff
Cyclical logic: State Rep. Ed Orcutt of Kalama has apologized for his assertion that bicyclists pollute the air with greenhouse gases because their heavy breathing releases more carbon dioxide.
Orcutt, R-Oxygen Deprived, citing similar logic to penalize other heavy breathers, proposed new taxes on Zumba classes, overweight people who climb stairs, obscene phone callers, big dogs fetching Frisbees and teenagers on Friday night dates.
Spoiler alert: Shirley MacLaine is set to return to “Downton Abbey” next season as the American Martha Levinson. More cast changes are due, following the deaths this season of characters Matthew Crawley and Lady Sybil Branson.
In what has been a bad omen for other TV series that have “jumped the shark,” “Downton” producers announced that veteran TV actor Ted McGinley would join the show as Lord Grantham’s new tennis instructor.
Harshing their buzz: The state Liquor Control Board says it will delay announcement of its marijuana consultant, who will advise the board on setting up a system to grow, distribute and sell pot, because it is still interviewing candidates.
“Dude,” said a spokesman for the agency, “we’re, like, swamped with applicants. Don’t be so uptight. We’re going to go through a big stack of applications while we watch ‘Big Lebowski.’ “