Talking turkey

Talking turkey

Channel-surfing the vast cultural wasteland: On Food Network’s “Guy’s Big Bite,” host Guy Fieri is whipping up a Thanksgiving feast with turkey meatballs with fire-roasted green chiles (The Clicker, Page D6).

We’re OK with nontraditional Thanksgiving food, but if we bite into a meatball and find one platinum blond hair from Fieri’s spiky head, we’re outta there.

There’s still an emissions issue to deal with: Volkswagen has two potential fixes for the fraudulent emission systems in its cars, but both are so costly it might be cheaper for VW to buy the cars back (Page A9).

A cheaper third option would offer VW owners a horse and a harness to hitch their Jettas to.

More Tofurky, Grandpa? The average cost of Thanksgiving dinner for most families is expected to top $50, mostly because of the increase in the price of turkey caused by an outbreak of bird flu (Page A10).

The cost of turkey has increased so much, that rather than giving two turkeys a presidential pardon for Thanksgiving, President Obama will pardon two Volkswagen executives and release them to a farm in New Hampshire.

—Jon Bauer, Herald staff