Tattoo … eww!

Jon Bauer, Herald staff

Nasty is only skin deep: Tainted tattoo ink is being blamed for a number of unsightly skin infections suffered by tattoo parlor patrons. State and federal agencies don’t regulate tattoo ink, but the U.S. Food and Drug Administration is considering new rules.

And after the FDA fixes the ink problem, we’re volunteering to go around with a red pen and correct all the tattoos with spelling and grammatical errors.

More Milky Way in your milk? A Kentucky cattle farmer, stung by the high cost of cattle feed caused by the recent drought, is using a kid-tested method for fattening his 1,400 cows; he’s mixing candy, pulled from store shelves as past its pull-date, into the feed. The candy is fattening up his cattle nicely, the farmer said.

And restaurants are already preparing to take advantage of a sweet marketing tool, with menus advertising “16 ounces of Snickers-fed prime rib.”

Don’t know much about history: On this day in 2006, the International Astronomical Union declared that Pluto, discovered in 1930, was no longer considered a planet.

Sadly, six years later, Pluto has struggled to accept the demotion, wearing sweats all day and leaving jealous posts on the astronomical union’s website about Mercury.