Thanks, but we’ll walk

Jon Bauer, Herald staff

Ashes, ashes, we all fall down: The European Union was expected to begin lifting restrictions on airline flights brought about over concerns about potential damage to jet engines from ash from Iceland’s volcano. Several test flights showed no damage to engines.

But the EU warned that the volcano, Eyjafjallajokull, still poses a threat to the world’s computers because of the possibility that SpellCheck will seize up.

  • Nothing to drink for me, thanks: Concerned that it would alienate their customers, five major U.S. airlines now say they won’t follow the lead of a regional carrier in Florida that plans to charge passengers a $45 fee for each piece of carry-on luggage.

    But to keep costs down, additional seating will replace restrooms on every jet, and passengers will be asked if they would like to purchase the $30 Stadium Pal portable urinal upgrade.

  • You know, take ‘em someplace nice: Almost 80 percent of respondents in a Pew Research Center poll said they don’t trust the U.S. government, while only 19 percent said they were content with it.

    The U.S. government then asked the 19 percent if they would take the 80 percent to lunch sometime and put in a good word for it.