The Buzz: Cousin Barack, meet Cousins Rush and Sarah

Not kissin’ cousins

President Barack Obama is distantly related to two of his most prominent critics: Rush Limbaugh and Sarah Palin, an online genealogy service says (Page A2).

Studying themselves in mirrors after hearing the news, both Limbaugh and Palin wondered out loud whether their ears are a bit large.

You will be assimilated: Google’s insistence on risky, sometimes odd long-term strategies frustrates investors who wish the company would just get with the program and focus on short-term gain like any other true-blue American corporation (Page A6).

Just wait: After the entire world has submitted to our Google overlords, these nitpickers will probably whine about the Nutraloaf we’re given to eat and the unitards we’re told to wear.

Ground chuck: Your co-worker who does Zumba might think low-fat hamburgers are a good idea, but The Buzz, and burger expert and food writer Josh Ozersky, know better. “A lean burger is an abominable object,” Ozersky says, because the flavor’s in the fat (Page D2).

In a related matter, if The Buzz were omnipotent we’d take over Cooking Light magazine and retitle the thing “Vaseline on Toast Tastes Better Than This Low-Fat (bleep).”

— Mark Carlson, Herald staff