There be dragons

Soundings in fathoms: The federal government will stop printing paper nautical charts in April 2014, relying instead on digital delivery of the maps for mariners.

This is terrible news for the nation’s seafood restaurants, which will be forced to find new nautically themed wall hangings.

Missed opportunity: A Pittsburgh man has been sentenced to eight months in federal prison for an elaborate scheme to steal billionaire Paul Allen’s identity and spend $658 using a credit card in the Microsoft co-founder’s name.

If The Buzz were the guy’s cellmate, we’d be telling him, “Dude! You had a credit card in the name of the world’s 53rd wealthiest man. And you spent a measly $658?”

Um, no thanks: Speaking of Microsoft and billionaires, Warren Buffett says there’s no chance his pal Bill Gates will return to lead the software company. Buffett said Gates is fully engaged with his charitable foundation.

Not only that, but if he were to return to Microsoft Gates would be obliged to exchange his slick new iPad Air for a Surface.

— Mark Carlson, Herald staff

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