Rumsfeld’s grapes of wrath send even comedians ducking

Published 9:00 pm Saturday, November 24, 2001

Los Angeles Times

WASHINGTON — Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld’s news briefings recently crossed the bridge from politics to pop culture with a "Saturday Night Live" parody of the secretary — artfully captured by Darrell Hammond — tongue-lashing reporters into cowering submission.

As he studied tapes of Rumsfeld in action, Hammond said the image of Tom Joad from John Steinbeck’s "Grapes of Wrath" came to mind — frank, up against it and to the point. He seized on those qualities in a news conference spoof that hardly required exaggeration:

Reporter: We are being told that Northern Alliance forces are firing back at Taliban troops who have fired on them, even though the Taliban troops missed. Does the U.S. condone that?

Rumsfeld: Now what kind of question is that?

Reporter: Thought-provoking?

Rumsfeld: Nooooo.

Reporter: Incisive?

Rumsfeld: No. Remember what I said about your question the other day?

Reporter: That it was idiotic?

Rumsfeld: And?

Reporter: And that I am an embarrassment to both myself and my newspaper?

Rumsfeld: You got it.

To the next reporter: You had a question?

Reporter: No, no.

Rumsfeld: You had your hand up.

Reporter: I did, but I don’t want to ask my question anymore.

Rumsfeld: Why not?

Reporter: Too scared.

The media — not the secretary — were the butt of the satire, written by SNL staff writer Jim Downey. "You can’t make fun of a guy who appears to be trying hard, doing well and sticking to his guns," Hammond said. "In American culture, that is unimpeachable."