Pain of discrimination went unnoticed

Published 9:00 pm Saturday, April 10, 2004

Regarding Wednesday’s guest commentary by Beth Harrison Menstell, "Acts of hate nothing new; dignity is everyone’s right": I just didn’t know!

All these many years later I realize that I just didn’t know how it was to live in your world. In all my arrogant teenage ignorance I assumed that you and all of your family were embraced by the community of Arlington. I do know that being your sister Janell’s best friend for years gave me the benefit of knowing you and your family beyond the casual, "Oh yeah, I know them, we went to school together" kind of mentality. Some 30 years later, my most treasured memories come from the genuine friendships that we shared.

What I didn’t know was how hard it was for you to live in my white, blue-eyed, blond-haired world. Janell, Lyman and I were older than you. You were the little sister. The little sister with the old soul, wise and witty, yet still much too young to understand our lives. But how could I, supposedly so aware and socially conscious, not have known?

It was a time of political unrest, the times were changing. And again, in my ignorance, I knew no color so in my world there was no problem. I was one of the lucky ones growing up. My parents valued friendships and taught only loyalty, not hatred or bigotry. Ah, to have the innocence of that time again, or not. I was wrong not to have known how you and your family struggled. Wrong not to have seen your pain.

I don’t feel a public forum is necessarily the appropriate place to reminisce, but I know that your letter touched my heart so deeply that I had to respond in some fashion to tell you and your family, "I just didn’t know!"

Thank you for sharing your experiences, thank you for reminding me that the struggle continues, and complacency is not to be tolerated. Thank you for acknowledging that there are still caring and wonderfully kind friends out there in this misguided, over-reactionary world, and thank you for walking the talk. You are the one who made the brave statement. I have learned well from you, little sister.

Everett