Human dialogue boring, but monster action’s fun
Published 9:00 pm Friday, August 13, 2004
This is the big standoff, a battle that will decide the future course of the world as we know it. And the adversaries are being unusually malicious in their tactics.
No, we’re not talking presidential politics. This is a horror-movie sequel that will unite the red and blue states.
Exactly one year ago this weekend, two of the big horror franchises of the slasher era met in a head-on donnybrook called “Freddy vs. Jason.” That relatively low-budget movie opened to huge box-office, and what’s good for the slashers is good for outer-space monsters too.
Thus: “Alien vs. Predator,” a long-rumored collision of two profitable franchises.
The nasty, slime-drooling alien debuted with Sigourney Weaver in 1979, and the dreadlocked predator bowed opposite Arnold Schwarzenegger in 1987. They’ve knocked around sequels since then, of course, and kept their spirits high in video games.
“Alien vs. Predator” delays the introduction of these creatures, just as the entrance of the prima donna is always delayed in opera. First we meet a group of human targets, bound for Antarctica. A swashbuckling millionaire (Lance Henriksen, who carried echoes of “Aliens” with him) has picked up a blip of heat 2,000 feet beneath the Antarctic ice. He quickly assembles a team of experts to investigate the site.
Our nominal leader is an environmental guide (I think that was her job description) played by Sanaa Lathan, from “Love &Basketball.” The other stock types include an earnest Italian scientist (Raoul Bova) she pairs off with, and a comic-relief Scotsman (Ewen Bremner).
Some shivery moments in the early going are marred by the excruciating dialogue. Luckily, aliens and predators don’t talk, so when the monsters take over in the final half-hour, the movie picks up and becomes enjoyably crazy. In one unforeseen twist, the humans must choose the lesser of two evils.
Devotees should find this climax a suitable conclusion to two popular series. Or, like “King Kong vs. Godzilla,” will it be a new beginning?
“Alien vs. Predator” is written and directed by Paul W.S. Anderson, who did the loathsome “Event Horizon.” He’s not in the same ballpark with the previous directors of the “Alien” series, a classy roster that includes Ridley Scott and James Cameron.
A flashback informs us of the origins of the monsters, and why they left footprints on earth. I didn’t catch the nuances, but it doesn’t change the formula. Each is trying to kill the other. Everybody goes home happy.
Ratings note: the PG-13 rating on this movie is ludicrous in two ways. First, it means the original movie had to be cut back. Second, it means this intensely violent film (including the uncannily sexual imagery of the monsters) is open to kids of all ages. Nice job, ratings board: You guys are a joke.
